A selection of Moments
by ggfan78
Summary: A different take...
1. Sweet Baby

"No Cyrus,"

"Sir,"

"Cyrus, if we ask her for help, for this. Cyrus, she'll…"

"Never forgive you." Cyrus finished for him.

"She'll,"

"Be angry, but you and I both know she's the only one we can trust to handle this without any fallout." Fitz didn't quite agree, asking for her help would result in the greatest fallout of all, losing her trust.

"Do it," he said bracing himself for what was going to be a bumpy ride ahead.

He had not seen nor spoken to Olivia Pope since she resigned from the White House over a year ago. He knew that she kept in close contact with Cyrus, who was a close personal friend and mentor. He knew that she also remained in contact with his children. That she was completely accessible to them. He knew that they received care packages from her at least once a month at boarding school, twice if there was a special occasion like a birthday, or good grades.

To his credit, Cyrus tried to keep Fitz from having to come face to face with Olivia, buy denying the allegations from Amanda Tanner, but in hindsight, he should have known that she would insist.

"He wants the favour. He wants my services. I do not work for him anymore. So you tell the President of the United States, to make time." Olivia said to Cyrus as she straightened out his tie. She gave his cheek a light pat before walking away leaving him shaking his head.

Olivia was well aware of the tone of disapproval in Steven's voice as he questioned her decision to meet with the President at Camp David. As her token best friend from childhood, he got to question her judgment. After all, it was he that stood by her through it all. He was there when it all began, he was there when they reached their tough spots, and he was there when she got her heart broken. She gave Steven a look that begged for understanding. She had to do it, it was her duty to her country, but she knew just as well as he did that this was the opportunity she had been wanting to see him again. After eighteen months of not seeing him, not talking to him, she longed to see him. The ache of his absence in her life never wavered in eighteen months. She managed to put one foot in front of the other, launch a successful business, but her heart still longed only for him.

Her heart stopped when Cyrus had told her about Amanda Tanner, surely he wouldn't. Cyrus insisted he wasn't that guy, and she didn't want to believe he was, so she promised to do it, providing that he passed her gut.

After exchanging pleasantries with Mellie, she, Cyrus and Fitz went for a walk. As Cyrus who was walking behind them filled her in on Amanda Tanner, as she flipped through the file he gave her. She tried to keep focused on what he was saying instead of the their close proximity.

"I have to ask…"

"No, I never, I would never, No. You've known me a long time, longer than most. You know there is only one person I love." He said looking right at her. He almost had her completely convinced when she saw something in his eyes. In that same moment he knew that she knew. The look of regret and apology immediately stared at her in the face.

"Cy, could you give us a minute? We'll meet you back at the residence." Fitz requested, his eyes never leaving Olivia's, the look of hurt and betrayal pooled in her eyes as she tried to compose herself. Cyrus gave them both a nod and headed back to the residence. He signaled for Tom and Hal to fall back and give them room.

"Liv," he said reaching for her but she jumped back so fast that all he caught was the air between them.

"Don't!"

"Liv, it's not what you think."

"Then what is it Fitz?"

"You left me," the pain evident in his voice.

"How was it going to work Fitz? You and I sneak around behind closed doors, steal a kiss here and there. Plan a weekend when Mellie isn't around. How was that a life for either of us? You can be mad at me all you want Fitz, but somewhere deep down you knew it was the right thing to do. I didn't exactly have you knocking my door down begging me to stay. I just did what you weren't brave enough to do."

"Liv,"

"So much for being the love of your life."

"Livvy no, Amanda. I was miserable, it was one night, it didn't mean anything. Liv please." He begged.

"I think I knew the moment Cy told me that it wasn't just an empty accusation. Did I honestly think that we were different?" she said dropping her gaze. Fitz took her face with both hands,

"We are different. I love you, I have always and will always love you." He pleaded for her to believe him. His one mistake undid everything. They may have always known that what they were doing was wrong, but Liv had never questioned his feelings, until that moment, and it killed him to see it. Olivia removed his hands from her face,

"I'll handle Amanda Tanner. Consider it handled." She said heartbrokenly not looking at him at all. Without waiting for another word she left, not bothering to say goodbye to Cyrus or Mellie leaving Fitz to deal with the questions himself.

When she got back to the office Steven took one look at her and silently followed her to her office and closed the door behind him.

"Liv,"

"He had, he…I thought," Olivia said somewhat incoherently.

"Liv, sweetheart." Unable to speak Olivia handed him the file on Amanda Tanner.

"FUCK!" he said out loud before he could reel it in. Olivia almost smiled,

"I know right. Here I was thinking what we had was actually different. What did I expect? That he cheat on his wife, but not his mistress?"

"Liv, he loves you." If Steven knew one thing about their relationship, it's that Fitz loved her. He never would have condoned it for as long as he did if he didn't believe that. Olivia just scoffed in disbelief.

"Do you want me to punch him in the face?" he offered feeling a little helpless.

"Oh Stevie, I think they may just have laws against causing bodily harm on the leader of the free world, and we both know you'd never make it past the Secret Service Detail, but thank you for loving me that much," she replied offering him the best smile she could when she felt that her whole world just fell apart. Everything she believed in, what she tried so hard to preserve, shattered by one act of carelessness.

Olivia and Stephen worked side by side gathering as much information on Amanda Tanner as they could. A couple of hours later Olivia was sitting next to Amanda Tanner on a park bench as Steven stood close by as a witness.

"Amanda are you sure you want to go through with this? Because once you've thrown this out there, there's no turning back. Monica Lewinsky was telling the truth too and she got eviscerated. This is a cruel city Amanda, it's unforgiving, and once you say this out loud, you can kiss your career goodbye. Not just in DC, but every prominent city there is. No one will hire someone with a sex scandal attached to them, least of all one attached to the President. So tell me what you really want, because I think you are much too bright to throw it all away for what, one night?" Olivia felt sick to her stomach as she watched Amanda fall apart. She sensed that all Amanda wanted was acknowledgement that it happened.

"You and I both know this can get very ugly, very quickly. Your reputation will be dragged into mud, your family and whatever history they have will be involved too. Are you ready for that?" Olivia tried with as much compassion as she could prepare her for what was in stored to make her weigh the consequences and whether it was worth all that. At the end of the day, it was always going to be worse for her than it would be for him.

The moment she and Steven walked into their office Olivia headed straight for the bathroom and threw up, when she finally emerged from the stall Steven was standing there with her toothbrush, a small towel and a bottle of water. She took the items from him gratefully as she handed him her phone.

"Call Cyrus, tell him it's handled." Steven nodded and dialed Cyrus number,

"Hey Liv," he answered looking at Fitz who had been distraught since her departure,

"It's Steven Finch,"

"Hey Steven," Cyrus replied surprised. Fitz's head snapped up questioning why Steven was calling instead of her,

"It's handled." Stephen said before hanging up leaving Cyrus a little confused. Glad that their situation had been handled but worried that they had pushed Olivia too far. Just as Steven was about to hand Olivia the phone, she ran back into the stall and threw up once more.


	2. Dirty little secrets

As Abby tacked the photos of 'the Madam's' clientele on the window she found herself getting angrier by the minute as the most powerful men of DC stared back at her. Family men, well respected, great men, with so much going for them, risking it all. Greedily wanting for more when what they had was ample already. As she berated them in her head she realised she was berating Fitz. She berated him for making her feel used, dirty and insignificant. She hated him for that. She hated him for Amanda Tanner, for his empty words, his ability to be such a great politician. He had her. She believed him, she trusted in him and he slept with Amanda Tanner. The mere thought had her insides in turmoil.

"Liv," Stephen repeated failing to get her attention after many attempts,

"LIV!" He said placing a hand on her arm making her jump,

"Jesus Stevie! What?" She replied trying to regain her composure. Stephen pointed to the picture of Patrick Keating,

"Holy Fuck! It just keeps getting better. I have to go. I'll be back in about an hour." She pulled out her phone and dialed,

"Cyrus, you're going to want to meet me. Our usual spot in the park?"

"Liv, why don't you come to the White House. Lets grab lunch." Cyrus suggested as Fitz looked on hopefully,

"No, the park in ten minutes. It's work related." Olivia added in case he thought she needed to be talked off a ledge. She had no intention on breaking down in the presence of the President's second in command no matter how much she adored him. Cyrus looked at Fitz and shook his head. They both knew it was a long shot. Olivia was pacing in circles when Cy found her, which to those closest to her knew was her tell when she was worried.

"You can't announce Patrick Keating as Supreme Court Justice, he's landed in the list of clientele for DC's finest Madam." Olivia greeted as he approached her not bothering with formalities.

"Holy Fuck!" Was his response which almost brought a smile to Olivia's face knowing the expression was something she picked up from him.

"You're going to need a new candidate."

"Liv, he was the best one and what's left over is a sorry excuse pool of nominees." He whined frustrated.

"Is there nothing you can do?"

"I'm doing what I can but Cy he's not my client."

"I know and I appreciate the heads up." Cyrus knew that she didn't have to share the intel.

"What can I say I'm patriotic, that and I don't like seeing your ass on a sling. Call me loyal. I'm doing what I can to make sure that list isn't released but David Rosen does have the law on his side on this one. There's a part of me that says to hell with them, let them fry in the consequences if their actions but that's a tad hypocritical coming from the President's ex mistress. However long of a list me may be."

"Liv,"

"I'm so not equipped to hear anything you have to say in his defense or in assurance that I was nothing more than a scratching post."

"Olivia," he admonished,

"It is what is is. He was right in the end. He's a great politician. Start looking for a candidate Cy, the chances are you'll need one. The file of candidates we put together a little while ago should still be in your hard drive. Go through them again. If you need to bounce off you know how to reach me. Take care Cy." She said giving his cheek a quick peck before heading back to her office leaving him a little more than unsettled.

Olivia was the daughter of his college best friend. He watched her grow up and what most people don't know is that he is actually her godfather. When her parents died in a car accident while she was in college, he took her under his wing and was the guardian of her estate till she turned twenty five. He nurtured and mentored her. To say she was like a daughter to him would be an understatement. He adored her, and she would always be the daughter he never had. When the relationship between Fitz abd Olivia began it was Olivia who had sat him down. His opinion mattered so much to her that she needed to know that he wasn't disappointed in her. Reluctantly he gave them his blessing knowing regardless how wrong it maybe, she loved Fitz and seemingly he loved her. He had never seen her so happy as when she was with Fitz and he loved her enough for that to be the only thing that mattered. Seeing her doubt what they had made him angry at Fitz. He wished he hadn't insisted she clean up his mess if to spare her the heartache she was now enduring underneath the facade she hid behind. Though Cyrus knew if he hadn't gotten her to handle it and it was leaked, it would have hurt her even more.

Cyrus found Fitz in his office instead of the oval when he got back to the White House obviously restless and anxious for information on Olivia. Cyrus who was also Fitz's close friend knew just how much he loved Olivia, which is why he wanted to smack him over the head for being so stupid.

"What's wrong?" He asked worriedly

"Patrick Keating's name showed up in a clientele list for DC's finest Madam."

"That doesn't sound like him," Fitz said confused,

"Up until two days ago I didn't think you were the kind of man who would have a one night stand with an aide." Cyrus said quietly, his disappointment undeniable in his voice.

"It was a mistake Cy, if I could take it back I would. She just came at me and she got me on a weak moment. I'm not proud of it and it makes me sick to my stomach knowing how much I've hurt Liv."

"So I guess me telling you she referred to herself as merely your scratching post would not go down well." Fitz's heart dropped to his feet.

"She was never that. I have never seen her as anything less than the love of my life. How can she think,"

"You slept with someone else when you were supposedly heart broken for her. Do the math. This hasn't exactly been easy for her either."

"She left Cy. With nothing but a resignation letter on my desk." The memory of walking into his office after his State of the Union speech excited for what was ahead only to find her resignation letter broke his heart each time. Cyrus let out a huge sigh, Olivia will kill him for telling but Fitz needed to know.

"Mellie knew Fitz. She figured it out. She confronted Liv and acknowledged your affair. She went as far as saying she and Liv were both serving their country, that they just went about it differently, in translation she basically called Liv your personal whore." Fitz gasped.

"Why didn't she tell me?"

"And what were you going to do Fitz, leave your wife weeks into your first term of presidency? She left because she wanted you to give it your best shot. So you could dedicate yourself to your marriage to this country. She knew you would never give her up and she knew if you continued your affair you'd both get careless and you would more than likely get caught and be impeached. She didn't want your potential for greatness be tarnished with the scandal of an affair. We've all worked far too hard to get here for that."

"Cyrus I can't let her keep thinking that she was merely my scratching post." Fitz said desperately.

"How do I make this better?"

"I don't know if you can Fitz." Cyrus replied honestly.


	3. More dirty little secrets

"I love that man. I just can't tell him that his whole life was built on a lie." Patrick Keating's wife said in anguish.

"You have a good life with a man who makes you happy and no one lie can negate all that but you have to tell him," Liv paused as she caught Fitz staring at them through the window,

"Because it he finds out from someone who isn't you. It's going to break his heart." She continued as she held his gaze her eyes briefly depicting the hurt she felt inside till she shook it off and looked back at Mrs Keating. It made her mad that when she looked him he was the one that looked tortured and wrongly done by when he was the one who shattered the illusion, who diminished the magic of what they shared against all it's odds. He cheapened them. He once accused her of belittling them, but one act of weakness only confirmed her worst fears. She may not completely believe it, but it evoked enough doubt to make it irreparable.

After her meeting with Mrs Keating Olivia slipped out of the White House before being summoned into the Oval Office. She headed back to her office in search of a way to not have Patrick Keating's whole career be thrown out the window.

Stephen followed her into her office as she walked in and sat on the chair in front if her not saying a word as though waiting for her to talk when she was ready. She looked at the door he pointedly closed behind him and then back at him as he flicked through the file in his hand casually.

"You know what drives me nuts?" She began. Stephen took that as cue to put his prop down and turn his undivided attention towards his angst filled best friend.

"He keeps looking at me with these wounded eyes as though I'm the one that killed his puppy. Like I'm punishing him. Like he's in so much pain being deprived of my presence. Eighteen months Stephen. Eighteen months and not a peep from him and now all of a sudden he's in my face. Begging for pardon and understanding. He slept with someone else. It was hard enough to imagine him with his wife and I knew back then that he had long since stopped sleeping with Mellie and then he sleeps with an aide. I could almost forgive him if he fell in love with someone else but not this. I put so much weight in the fact that we were soul mates, that we were in love. It negated the wrongness, this just makes me feel dirty." She confessed.

Olivia Pope rarely unraveled and she chose to whom she unraveled to. Stephen was one of a very short list. What pained her even more is that the remaining two on that list was caught in the sex scandal that broke her heart. Being Fitz's Chief of Staff cancelled Cyrus as a confidant knowing he was Fitz's. Though she never questioned his loyalty she knew that Fitz needed him more.

"The thing that's sad is as much as he killed us. I still believe in him. I still believe he is meant to do great things and if I could protect him from not losing that. I still would. I may no longer believe in us, what we had and whatever destiny I fooled myself into thinking we had but I still believe in him. I still believe he is a great man who's supposed to do great things, and that's the part that kills me."

"Amanda called, she wants a sit down with him." Olivia nodded. She expected as much. She knew that all Amanda truly wanted was the acknowledgement that they happened. That she didn't imagine it nor concoct it. That Olivia understood better than anyone. For someone who was staying away from the White House she was once again making a call to the chief of staff.

"Liv," Cyrus answered.

"Hey Cy," she said exhaustedly.

"Kid, you need some down time." He said knowingly.

"Between that list, keeping the Madam from prison, trying pacify an aide who had an affair with the President, oh yeah and the President...I don't think that's happening any time in the future."

"Amanda's contacting you?"

"I told her to Cy. If its not me, it'll be someone else. At least this way it's in the circle, and really how much more damage can she possibly make to me. If she goes through me I know what she has and helping her, allows me to live with myself.."

"Ever the fixer,"

"If only I can fix myself Cy." She said with a defeated sigh.

"I called for a reason before I forget. Amanda Tanner wants a sit down."

"Liv..." He said hesitantly.

"I think she's for real Cy. I wouldn't ask otherwise."

"Okay, set it up. You'll be there?"

"If I could get away with not I would so not be. Unfortunately I have no choice. It's you, me, the president and whatever Amanda Tanner is to him."

"A mistake." Cyrus answered.

"That's not necessarily her fault Cy. Now me on the other hand..."

"Liv. You have never been his mistake."

"I'm finding it difficult not to refer to him as mine." She replied honestly.

"Anyway, let me talk to Amanda and I'll confirm time."

"Sure. Hey Kid,"

"Yeah Cy?"

"Take a few minutes for yourself. You need to breathe."

"Cy, if I stop. If I give myself a moment, I'll start to think and right now I can't afford to think about anything else but the multiple fires I am trying to put out."

"I know Kid, but you can't keep running yourself to the ground in the name of self preservation. I know you. I know how you work."

"I know you do Uncle Cy. Duly noted. Lets get through this, one train wreck at the time." Cyrus smiled, she rarely called him Uncle Cy. After they started working so close together it seemed inappropriate to refer to him as Uncle Cy as she had been since she could babble.

"If you hit enough you call me."

"I promise."

Olivia had set up the meeting with the four of them for that evening in Cyrus' office. Olivia needed a neutral and a safe space and Cyrus' office was as close as it was going to get. Fitz was already with Cyrus when Olivia and Amanda arrived. Fitz tried to catch Olivia's gaze but she refused to meet his. They sat around Cy's round table. The amount of times that she and Cyrus had spent pouring over strategies on that table and sharing meal. It gave her a false sense of comfort as she readied herself for what was ahead. Amanda didn't disclose what she wanted to say and Olivia didn't want to pry in case it scared her off. Olivia gave Cyrus a look that asked him to be gentle with Amanda, that this moment was not a moment for Cyrus the pitbull.

"Amanda, I want to say sorry for that night." Fitz began. He looked at Amanda and then longingly at Liv needing her to hear his blanketed apology.

"I was in a bad place, and I should have known better. I should have said no. So I am sorry. It was never my intention to hurt you." His voice broke with emotion and Liv couldn't help but feel herself crumble a little knowing that he was apologizing to her too. Amanda dropped her gaze to her hands on the desk,

"I'm pregnant." She said softly. Olivia's heart felt like it was ripped out of her chest as she gasped in surprise. Fitz looked to Olivia immediately as did Cyrus who knew that up until that point she didn't know. Amanda shot to her feet.

"I can't do this." She stammered and ran out of Cyrus's office leaving the rest of them stunned.

"Oh my God!" Olivia said unable to breathe, she looked at Cyrus and before she could say anything she felt absolutely sick. Cyrus recognized the look and reached for his waste bin and Olivia took it gratefully knowing she wasn't going to reach Cyrus's private bathroom. Fitz was at her side in moments. He watched as she threw up in Cyrus'. When he tried to comfort her she jumped a mile.

"Don't touch me." Cyrus rubbed her back soothingly. Afterwards she apologized to Cyrus and went to clean up in his bathroom. When she emerged he saw that Fitz was gone. She thanked Cyrus knowing that it was his doing.

"Liv, we have a problem."

"Because this has been a fun ride?" She said sarcastically flopping down on his couch.

"Someone has sent over a sex tape. It's audio, it's clearly Fitz and who I assume is Amanda Tanner."

"Oh for crying out loud it just keeps getting better and better." She cried out in utter frustration.

"What do you say Cy, lets blow this joint, grab James and the three of us move to Hawaii?" Cyrus smirked, glad there was a glimmer or humour left in her.

"Ahhh one could dream. You and I both know we'd be bored in a matter of hours."

"One could dream indeed. So do we know who sent it? I doubt it's from Amanda, she's too skittish."

"I think someone's pulling her strings."

"Me too. Leave it with me. I'll get my guys on to it. Can you walk me out? I don't want to be intercepted."

"Sure kid, you ready to go?"

"I was ready to go the moment I walked in." Cyrus laughed and draped an arm over her shoulder and kissed the side of her head.

"Once you've sorted out the madam lets get drunk."

"You're on. I think I found a way for Keating to remain your nominee. Will send you details when I get back to the office."

"Have I told you how much I love and adore you recently?" Olivia laughed,

"So you should. We'll talk later. I'm fine Uncle Cy." She said trying to reassure him.

"Liar, but you can convince me over a few bottles of red wine."

"Each?"

"Whatever it takes. Bye kid" Olivia kissed his cheek once they reached the gate and gave him a wave goodbye.


	4. When is love enough

"Cyrus..." Olivia whined

"I'd love to help you kid but its out of my hands."

"That's why I quit the White House so I don't have to go to these things." She complained referring to the State Dinner.

"We so both know that wasn't the reason why you quit the White House." He teased.

"Shut up!" She said giving his arm a playful slap.

It had been a few days since they saved Patrick Keating's career. A couple of days since they sorted out their Amanda Tanner dilemma. Billy Chambers was behind it all. He had been pulling her strings and he used her love for him to sabotage the President. In the end she admitted to seducing Fitz and confessing that the baby she was holding wasn't his. That it couldn't have been. It made Olivia feel a little better but she still couldn't bring herself to be in the same room as Fitz. There were emotions she had long since buried that were unearthed and she wasn't prepared to feel. She and Cyrus had finally made good on their 'get drunk' date and were sitting on Olivia's couch sharing several bottles of red wine and Pizza. When her home phone began to ring her eyes immediately went to the clock on the wall for confirmation. Without bothering to pick up the phone Olivia grabbed another slice of pizza as though there was no incessant ringing in the background.

"Still calling?" Cyrus asked,

"Like clock work. Ever since Amanda Tanner my phone has been ringing at ten every night just as it used to." She answered taking a bite.

"Liv,"

"I can't talk to him Cy. I don't want to open that door again. It's too easy to forget how wrong it is."

"He loves you."

"When has that ever been enough Uncle Cy?" Olivia asked painfully.

"I pick up the phone, he apologizes. He tells me he loves me. I eventually admit to myself and to him that I love him too, and then what? We're exactly where we were eighteen months ago. Sometimes love isn't enough Cy and it took me a really long time to be okay with that. Some days are better than others." She admitted.


	5. Goodbye

Much to Olivia's dismay, there was no getting out of the State dinner that Mellie had insisted she come to. She had hoped a crisis would arise that needed her complete attention unfortunately nothing came. So when the car had arrived for her, she had no choice but to get in. She grumbled all sorts unpleasantries aimed at Cyrus who was no help at all in getting her out of the event. He had gone as far as sending a car out for her, which ensured that she would be there. She had pointed out that she was starting to question his loyalty. She knew that he was growing more and more worried about Fitz, and that she would be the only one who could possibly talk him out of his funk.

As she walked through the entrance, her eyes immediately fell to him as he greeted the line of people that came through the doors. Olivia took a deep breath and forced herself to put one foot in front of the other, before she could turn her heel and slip out she felt someone take her arm, she looked up and saw Cyrus standing beside her. He gave her a wink.

"Going somewhere?"

"Not at all." She answered through gritted teeth knowing there was no escaping. Cyrus draped an arm around her shoulder and dropped his lips on her temple.

"It'll be okay Kid."

"So you keep telling me." She answered rolling her eyes at him in annoyance.

By the time they had reached Mellie and Fitz, Olivia could see that he was not expecting her. A part of her felt a little better knowing that he hadn't arranged for her to be there so that he could corner her.

All in all the evening was not as bad as Olivia had feared it would be. Sure she could feel Fitz follow her every movement somewhat discreetly, but she could live with that, knowing that her own eyes unconsciously followed him wherever he went.

While dancing with Billy, Mellie had insisted on switching partners. The look of panic in her face was not at all lost on Fitz. As the next song began he held out a hand to her, which she took hesitantly. Placing a hand on his shoulder she almost shivered as his other hand sat on her waist as he pulled her close, his eyes unable to leave her face.

"Don't look at me." She said dropping her own gaze.

"How come?" he asked.

"Because everyone will know."

"I can't not look at you," Fitz replied as though it was something he had no control over.

"The song will be over in a minute,"

"This is ridiculous." Fitz muttered, while Olivia refused to meet his eye, scared to see what lay there.

"Everything is ridiculous. How did it all get so…" frustrated that Olivia's gaze was fixed head on,

"Damn it just look at me. Look at me!" he begged quietly. Against her better judgment Olivia looked up to meet his eyes,

"Meet me in our spot in ten minutes,"

"No," Olivia answered instinctively,

"I'm not spending any more time away from you."

"Stop it. We're in public. Look away."

"Look, I know I don't have the right, I know. I know you don't trust me. I love you." He whispered in her ear.

"Your wife is ten feet away," she exclaimed in disbelief

"I love you."

"What about Amanda?" She threw in bitterly,

"I-Love-You" he repeated locking eyes with her refusing to let her tear her gaze from him. When the music stopped he finally released her,

"Our spot, ten minutes."

"You can't leave your own state dinner," she tried to reason as she clapped.

"Watch me." Fitz challenged leaving her with her thoughts. Cyrus who had been watching their exchange appeared from nowhere and took Liv in his arms for the next dance.

"That man is infuriating."

"I believe stubborness is something you both share. He just wants a chance to apologise Liv. I think you will both feel better afterwards. Otherwise this game of cat and mouse will just keep going. For your sanity and mine, give him a few minutes to state his case." Knowing he was right she wanted to scream, but settled for a frustrated groan.

"Fine."

"Thank you."

"That list of yours is getting mighty long Cyrus." Olivia said dryly as he smirked,

"Don't I know it!"

A few minutes later she found herself walking down a familiar path towards the Rose Garden. So many memories flooded her senses it made her heart ache. He felt her presence before he saw her, something in his heart always knew when she was nearby. He wasn't entirely sure she would show up and was grateful that she did. As he turned and caught the sight of her he gasped overwhelmed by her beauty and his own longing. He watched as she made her way towards him. How he missed her so much.

"Hey," she greeted clearly guarded

"Hey Liv. Thank you for coming.

"You didn't exactly leave me with much choice Fitz." Fitz had the decency to hang his head.

"I'm here. So talk to me." She said softly. She could see the agony on his face and she felt an overwhelming urge to just hug him and end his misery. Cyrus was right, he looked like he hadn't slept in weeks. Then again, neither had she.

"I'm so sorry Liv." His apology echoed in heart, the tone of his voice haunted her soul. Olivia took a deep breath.

"Fitz, I'm not going to lie and say it's okay, because it hurt. But I acknowledge that you and I were long over when it happened. Technically I have no right to feel as betrayed as I did. So if its absolution you're after you have it."

"I need you to forgive me."

"Oh Fitz, do you really think my saying it is going to make it less painful? Do you really think it would release you, if so then yeah you can have my forgiveness, but it doesn't change anything does it? Because that's not what this is all really about. It's about the fact that when I walk out these doors, you know I won't be back. The emptiness will still be there, for both of us. There is no happy ending here." She said tearfully.

"I need you in my life Livvy." He uttered with such desperation that it tore her knowing she felt exactly the same.

"Oh Fitz, and I need you, but this can't happen. Not anymore. Your family, your wife, your presidency, the people deserve better. I deserve better." She added quietly.

"It may break my heart every second that I'm not with you, but I've finally learned to live with that. Please don't make do this again. I barely survived the last time." Olivia found herself pleading with him. For the first time Fitz could see how much it hurt her. All this time he equated her ability to be able to walk away to her not caring enough.

"You are the love of my life Fitzgerald Grant and I suspect you will always be that great love in my life, but we can't do this. I can't be your mistress."

"Don't you dare call yourself a mistress, you and I both know better. You're the love of my life,"

"And you are mine, but you are also the President of the United States, you have a family, you have a wife. You may not have looked at me as a mistress and I may not have always felt like I was, but that's what I was."

"Liv..."

"Fitz, you need to move on from us. Or at least try. I can't watch you self destruct. Don't make what we had be in vain. You got to be president, so be president. Be great like I always knew you could be. I may not be in your life anymore but not a day goes by that I'm not proud of you and what you've been doing. There's no happy ending for us. I think we always knew that. So let us both move forward."

"Liv, I don't know how to be great without you." He confessed fearfully. Olivia sat down beside him on the bench just close enough that there hands could touch,

"Of course you do. You already are great. You've always been great. Cy, Mellie as I may have given you a push in the right direction but you are the best person for this job. I believe in you. I always will. You can do this."

"I don't want to do this without you. I miss you every second of every day."

"I know what that feels like, I do but we can't Fitz."

"I know." He replied defeatedly.

"I'll always love you. Always! I am proud of you every day. So keep being that man I voted for." Olivia stood to her feet. Fitz grabbed her hand to stop her,

"One minute," Olivia nodded and sat down beside him. She didn't protest when he draped an arm around her. Olivia turned into his embrace and lay her head against his chest as he buried his face into her hair. Tears began to fall from both their eyes, the agony of the idea of their life apart hung so evidently. Her arms clung tightly around his waist. After a little while Fitz rubbed her arms giving her another long squeeze. She choked back a gasp at the realization that it was time to let to, to say goodbye. She looked up at him as he kissed her forehead and her lips briefly.

"Goodbye Liv. I will always love you."

"Goodbye Fitz. I will always love you too." Olivia watched as he walked back to the State dinner. She needed a moment. Just as he got to the top of the path he looked back at her and she smiled bravely at him and nodded for him to go on. He lifted his hand as though to give her a wave. When he was out of sight Olivia broke down knowing that they had finally said their goodbyes.


End file.
